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Living the über-hip lifestyle 24x7 can be tiring, even for us. Sometimes we need to put our feet up, yawn, and have a look at the growing pile of user feedback. It's usually not pretty, but that's the price we pay so that HipGuide may stay attuned to the mental juggernaut that is our users.
We were recently spoofed by www.hip-guide.com, "Hips Around the World," after they read our wireless and real-time reservations press releases.
Dear Hipguide Executive Board,
Announcement: Hip-guide is "expanding" with its new staff. Here at hip-guide.com we move at the speed of e-business. We have already changed our business plan and have segmented our market. We have discovered that rather than download hip replacement surgical information for victims of executive spoof dot com schemes, there is a greater demand for pornographic pictures of Josh. You can download them directly to your palm pilot. Our alliance with E-joshieporn.com has cemented our leadership in this market, together with our alliance with Palm computing which will release the "Josh-pilot" OS-6 Beta version next month.
Brandon
Dear Chief Butt of Hip-Guide,
While appreciative of your expansion attempts, you will find that we, having anticipated the boom and bust for said photos of Joshua, have aligned with Maxim, Stuff, FHM and Gear in order to corner the internet exec porn marketplace. After all, who wouldn't want to see Bill "I'm So Buff" Gates naked? However, after many Jupiter and Forrester studies, we learned that the interactive element of EjoshiePorn might scare small children and possibly even some small household pets. As we bend over to reach as broad of an audience as possible, we quickly eliminated this strategy. We would advise that, in order to spread your audience base, you do the same.
Very truly yours,
Dear Syl:
If we may shoot from the hip, we would like to buy hipguide.com from you. It so hippens, more than one user has actually found their way to your site instead of our spoof. Not to be hip-ocritical, but while we'd like to keep your site up ... somewhere ... but we feel that we provide a more josh-oriented service for the Internet community.
We plan to register the trademark on the usage of the two words separated by a dash in Trinidad and Tobago, Slovakia, the Republic of Funkilia, Barmogia, Mascaponadascar, and his Royal Estate of Tropicana Flimel Furchtbar.
In exchange for your website we are willing to offer TWO chili dinners. And not that nasty two-alarm stuff. We're talkin' REAL El Paso, here. (The pot is already boiling ...)
Because hip-guide.com moves at the speed of e-business, we have sent this counteroffer before we even considered your original offer. That's how fast we are! We're like a cheetah. In a Ferrari. On the autobahn. In a time machine. That's right: a cheetah in a Ferrari on the autobahn in a time machine.
Because trendy is too FAT for print.
Best regards,
the www.hip-guide.com team
From: Brandon, Envious User #1
To: Syl, President
Cc: Josh, CTO
Subject: Hip-Guide announces Wireless & Real Time Pictures of Josh
President*Founder
Hip-Guide
"Moving From Hips to Buttocks at the Speed of E-Business"
From: Syl, President
To: Brandon, Envious User
Cc: Josh, CTO
Subject: Re: Hip-Guide announces Wireless & Real Time Pictures of Josh
Syl
From: Kevin, Envious User #2
To: Syl, President
Cc: Josh, CTO
Subject: Offer to purchase Hipguide.com
