Q:Should I send my turkey leftovers to HipGuide? Is leftovers- by- mail the next big thing? What's the proper way to package my leftovers so they're chicly delivered?
-- "Dan from Michigan"
A:Whoa nelly.
Turkey chemicals get to your brain?
First of all, all oozing packages will be thrown away by HipGuide's receptionist. (That is if you could even get past her which we doubt since she probably GAVE (!) Steve Rubell velvet rope lessons.)
Secondarily, geez man, we don't want your old crusty, nasty bird gizzards!!! Now it's not that we're not grateful - yes there are people starving everywhere but a la Band Aid send your dollars to places like the Sudan where they really need your help- and fer sheezy! spare us and your long distance buds your mangled, chewed up, foul fowl! (Gaah! Couldn't you at least have offered us something like pumpkin pie or rum bread pudding?)
Lastly, tell us you don't have children yet.
Good heavens.
Charlotte Ford does a great book called 21st Century Etiquette. Get it and don't write us again until you've memorised every word and know it better than Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer.
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