Much like the Oracle, HipGuide answers visitors' tough questions here.

Finding Other Hip-ettes in the Big Apple
Q:So, perhaps this is a no-brainer, but I am a single female and I live in NYC. I've been out here a relatively short time, for grad school, and don't yet have girlfriends to go out with. I'm starting to think that I'll just go out on my own - I feel like I'm missing out on all the fun! - but is that sad and pathetic? I mean, will I look like a loser enjoying a cocktail at a nice place on my own? I just need some perspective on that.

-- "Single Girl In the Big City (yip, how she really signed it)"

A:Oh my dear! I won't write one of my sassy-a$$ emails because I know that's not what you want to hear (ok, I might not be able to resist one sass.) First off, just because you're writing to us on a Friday night doesn't mean a thing. I so promise. We're over the days when one needed to go out on the weekend to be cool, right? And that's not just because I'm here tap-tap-tapping away too. Okay so maybe I am a loser BUT regardless! Drinking at home alone=bad (or at least very boring.)

By all means go out! Now I don't know if I would put on a little baby hooker number (yes, isn't it crazy how that's all the rage now) and start making googley eyes at the boys at, say Marquee, where the 'm' stands for mischief. However, put on a nice sweater and don't forget those underoos (the QB is a lady - we never go flashing the papparazzi around these parts, with our, er, parts) and make a line for a gentle lounge. Perhaps Pegu or the Double Seven. Both spots where you can nicely have a cocktail and Vice won't think you're the 'new' girl just cause you're alone.

However what we really need to address is your bigger problem. Are there no fellow grad students you could invite out? ("Hey, I heard Sapa does a killer happy hour with cheapie martinis. Want to go check it out with me one Friday?" is what you need to say.) But okay maybe there aren't. You need activities. Skating right now in Bryant Park would be one good one. Lots of cuteys bumping into each other on the ice on a Friday night. Also Wolman does a singles skate too. Or join a tour. The kind residents actually do. I always wanted to go see the locations on the Law & Order walking tour (er, where is 900 East 72nd exactly ... Queens?) There's also scavenger hunts which can be silly and fun. Basically activities where you might make some new friends. I'll email you a calendar someone sent me. This is also a perfect season for volunteering. City Meals on Wheels for example. And you'll know your new pals have good hearts.

Then when you've exchanged some digits, the very next time you can say, "I hear the DJs at Pachita are roofus; want to go next Thursday?"

But be patient. And don't fret. It takes time to make a circle of friends in NY. Seriously. Realistically the first friends you make won't even be the ones with whom you stay closest. You'll meet other people through them who have more similar interests and so on. I always say it can take a year to really find people you like. Though I've been living here for thir-OH A GOSH DARN long time. And even sometimes I feel all alone. Sob. Damn I'm alone too! Now you made me all sad.

~The sad QB

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