A:Let's see darling. When at an event, do people have a hard time understanding you because you need both hands and all your teeth for the passing hors d'oeuvres?
Do you find yourself going to architectural award shows just for the logo'd tote bag?
Do you get annoyed when fellow party attendees are standing between you and The Power of Cheese platter?

Witness the behaviour of one so-called "book publisher" slash trust fund baby caught stealing a $4 bottle of Mumms champagne from a posh Esquire party. Said sad, sad party fixture was exposed when he dropped the illicit goods outside the front door exploding it onto the sidewalk in front of a showcase Mercedes SLR.

Do you want this to be you?
Do you want us to shake our head in dismay when we see you?

If you're an actor who's in the gossips for being at events but no one can remember when you last did a movie? Or if no one actually knows what you do when they see you at events but they know all your favourite drinks and the last five events where they saw you? But we think the ultimate barometer of when too many events are just too many events is when all your meals consist of miniscule vegetables, baby quiche and mangled cheese...

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