Much like the Oracle, HipGuide answers visitors' tough questions here.

Two Boys Go Clubbing
Q:I am going to Miami.
Any thoughts about how to get in the the hip clubs?
How to get past the doorman/bouncer? It will be me and a friend( male).
Bribes, or get there early?

-- "Out-ta Town Man"


A:Ai-yeeee.
You're killing us.
You've broken two of the cardinal rules of nightlife.

O Uninitiated One, let us tell you how it is.

As Jeffrey Jah (legendary nightlife vet of Red Zone, Club USA, Lotus) says when asked the right amount to palm a doorman, "Zero!"
A good doorman at any club, now we're not saying it never happens, but a good doorman will drop your Benjamin at your feet, snort at you and you will be persona non grata from that spot forever.
Kiss your party goodbye!

Cardinal rule number two.
One boy, two boy, three boy, testosterone city.

The worst thing you can do is roll up to a door and be all guys.
It is not because they don't like you, White Boy, it is because you have just thrown off the balance of the evening. A club assumes you will harass their women, scare off the lovely models, and basically cause a rucus.
Even just you two harmless, well mannered, mild....testosterone machines.

So before you get to Miami,
A. choose your clubs
B. find out who owns them, see if you know anyone
C. call ahead and find out the club's policies, parties, nights, themes, door guys names, lists...be polite. No one who ever belonged on the list ever needed to cop an attitude.

When you get to Miami,
A. call and tell them you'd like to come by. schmooze the person on the phone
B. dress well
C. show up early
and for heaven's sakes, find some nice looking women so you can
D. bring cute babes with you!

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